I walk into the kitchen, open the freezer and look at the two small containers of ice cream. I’m far from being an ice cream addict, but every once in a while, the creamy goodness of chocolate ice cream calls out to me.
I get out a bowl, spoon, and open the container of -not the creamy chocolate- but of Perry’s Panda Paws. For those that don’t know what that is, it’s vanilla ice cream with a mix of fudge swirl and pieces of chocolate covered peanut butter. Sounds delicious, right? Of course it is! Chocolate, peanut butter, and ice cream all rolled into one. YUMM!
I place a couple scoops into my bowl and stop. Do I want a third scoop? Do I need that third scoop? Let’s face it, it’s eight at night, I’ve been horribly neglecting my workouts (Zumba and pilates), and I could lose a few pounds. Few, as in the pounds I’ve been fighting to lose since having my munchkins.
I continue to look down for a minute or two before muttering “Screw it” to myself as I add that third scoop of yumminess into my bowl.
As I sit at our breakfast bar, I think of today’s events and try not to go insane with the million questions that are running through my head. So much is going on and up in the air, I have no idea where to begin. Where do we go from here? What if he can’t drive anymore? What if I can’t pick up a job quick enough? What happens when we run out of money? How far can I stretch our food supply? What if there is an emergency and the kids need to see the doctor?
I look up from the bowl, that in all my stress (Yes, I stress eat — I’m working on that), I’ve already managed to polish off two-thirds of my late night snack. I try to stop thinking and listen to what’s going on around me. The rest of the family is sound asleep by now. If I listen closely I can hear, not just my husbands, but my children’s soft snores coming from down the hall.
I smile to myself.
I may not be able to control the stream of worries flowing through my thoughts, nor do I know what is going to happen from tomorrow on. At this moment, there are a few things I do know though. My children are safe and well. My husband is still here by my side. We have a roof over our heads, and -not hate- but love in our home. At this moment, I couldn’t ask for more.
I look down at my cleared bowl. That last scoop? Yeah, it was totally worth it.